SILENT NIGHT - SWEDISH NIGHT

I am not Swedish. And I never thought that THAT statement would make a difference. I am Polish, German, and Irish and have been told GYPSY BLOOD is involved in my genetic make-up - this OBVIOUSLY must be the origin of my secret fascination with finger cymbals and goulash.

My NOT being Swedish was complicated in moving to Lindstrom, MN - "America's Little Sweden" - a small town where the aroma of lutefisk and swedish meatballs linger in the air - a town where Swedish was a language option in high school AND a giant teapot/water tower with traditional Swedish script looms over the kind folks who participate in the GOLDEN SNUFF BOX HUNT for Karl Oskar Days.

And I am not Swedish. Ah - but I adapted...I took Swedish class from Fru Fosdick - went to a Swedish college and participated in Santa Lucia - an event which takes place on the darkest day of the year....in which TRADITIONALLY a SWEDISH, blond-haired, blue-eyed girl wearing a wreath of candles in her hair visits the people. In Lindstrom - this event took place at the high school cafeteria and it was a BIG PRODUCTION - with Star Boys and a Gingerbread Lady and Lucia Buns and swedish gingerbread and singing and the public smiling all warm with the glow of all things Swedish. For two years - I was the Gingerbread Lady - a role that suited my Polilsh/German/Irish/Gypsy? self well as I got to wear a frankenstein-stitched brown skirt with an elastic waist. I didn't have to look pretty or be graceful and I could "fake" sing (aka - not singing - just move lips enthusiastically) as I got to flit about on the outside of the procession - wearing comfortable shoes.

What happened my senior year I will never know. In a very unfortunate twist of events - my name ended up on the ballot to become SANTA LUCIA and though I was awkward and chunky and had stringy brown hair - there it was - my name LOOMING on the ballot and I tell Fru Fosdick that I don't want my name on this fast-bullet-to-hell ballot and she tells me I can always DECLINE if I got it - and then I figured it was a moot point as I most likey wouldn't even get ONE vote and then the voting occurs and the next day I get a call saying I - ME! - CLUMSY, AWKWARD LOOKING ME! am SANTA LUCIA and I remember what Fru Fosdick told me so I said - "I DECLINE" and the lady on the phone from Forest Lake tells me NO ONE CAN DECLINE and I am now FREAKING with the BLOW-OUT and HORROR that the NON-SWEDISH "NEW GIRL" (only moved to area 2 years prior...still the "new girl") has to don a CROWN OF CANDLES and appear to float with grace while leading the procession SINGING in dulcet tones. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? WHO VOTED FOR ME...and lordy - WHY????

Basically - the SWEDISH version of Stephen King's CARRIE.

The day before Fru Fosdick ANNOUNCED in SWEDISH CLASS that I shoud REMEMBER TO WASH MY HAIR for the big day as I was supposed to look "PRETTY".

I washed my hair....and washed....and washed and even debated dying my hair blonde. The day arrives and even though I know all the Swedish songs from heart I cannot find my voice and my hands are cold even though I am holding a lit candle which dribbles hot wax onto my trembling hands and I CLOMP, CLOMP, CLOMP up the aisle trying to just breathe and I look out into the crowd of smiling SWEDISH FACES and my mouth is moving and no sound comes out and all I can do is silently nod to the Gingerbread Lady.....jealous of her shoes.


I'M NOT SWEDISH SWEDISH COOKIES
That was the first year I made these cookies...they are from an old, yellowed Swedish cookbook and the short ingredient list appealed to my new-founded cookie-making me. 25 years later....they remain my favorite!

INGREDIENTS
1/2 pound butter
1/2 cup sugar
2 cups flour
red jelly or jam (I find cheaper jams work better for some reason)

Set oven at 375. Cream butter and sugar to a fluffy consistency. Add the flour. Shape dough into little balls and press down in the center with your thumb and place on ungreased cookie pan. Fill the center with the jam and bake 15-20 minutes or until golden brown around the edges. Enjoy while giving a silent HEJ SAN to the Swedish folks you know!