MAN BEER STEW

I declare myself the new founder and creator of the Bad Boy Brigade. My luck with boys is not the best and perhaps it started when Scott Baio didn't return my affadavits of LUV - followed by a very serious incident at the Marshfield County Fair when I FINALLY got to ride the SKYDIVER with John Desmond who was dreamy and sweet and could only talk on the phone for 5 minutes and his mom made sure to clock it with a stove timer and he was too shy to speak and so he would either - tap ONCE on the receiver for YES - TWICE for NO - and only would utter these words - WOOF/MEOW/ MOO/ribbit/ribbit and I TRULY thought for months we were in a real live relationship and it became official the day I asked him to the County Fair on a FRIDAY night and he tapped once for YES and so there we were - him not talking and me raving on and on and unable to find the STOP button on my mouth and then we got into the SKYDIVER which was a scary THRILL ride where you would get into a metal CAGE and the cage would twirl upside down - similar to a Ferris wheel - but far more evil - and I wanted to hold his hand from the fear of it all but as we were going upside down and rightside up the smell of his GREEN BRAND MENNEN SPPEDSTICK deodorant made my stomach churl more than the ride and then I HAD to hold his hand because the dense fog of the deodorant stench combined with the motion of it all created an inner motion and there I was grabbing his hand as I PUKED all over his Marshfield Junior Varsity Soccer Shorts and the worst of it all was the vomit was then twirling around with us and landing on our laps and afterwards there were no more phone calls of animal noises and taps.

My first kiss was during a game of spin the bottle. A FORCED kiss - not one of WANT.

I never went on ONE date in high school.

I had some good guys- absolutely- and I might hold a top ranking in the lists of women who are still friends with their exes. They are great friends - great guys......and yet a club remains of cheaters and liars and thieves and bad deodorant choices.

I have always believed that MEN like BEEF and they like BEER - and it is no surprise that the letter F and the letter R are 13 letters apart.

And it is ALSO no surprise that TODAY I found this recipe that someone must have cut from a case of Schimdt Beer.

If you can't beat them - join them