FAY'S GOT BOOBIES - CHICKEN BREASTS

My name is Faith Ann Farrell. When I was a little girl I used to say my whole name REALLY FAST - so it sounded like one, singular NEW name -FAFANNFARRELL- and saying it SUPER SPEEDY 3 times in a row without stopping was my own personalized version of the tongue twister and even though I was in 6th grade and proud of my new tricky yet truthful name - my family just decided - I guess - to rename me with a shorter and easier and sadly BLANDER version - FAY and so FAY I was and this was when we lived in Marshfield, Massachusetts and even though we nearly(but not quite) lived walking distance from Humarock Beach where all the cool kids hung out during summer vacation and would meet by the corner store with their flip flops and lip gloss and everyone would be eating Lick-a-Stix or Push-Ups - I, FAY, would find myself making art projects for the Marshfield County Fair and it would be hot and breezy and you could still smell the salt from the ocean and I would be sitting at the picnic table on the deck gimping away keychains and carving soap sculptures and making candles that looked like ice cream sundaes and then the HEAT WAVE hit and the candles and soap started to melt and my mom announced that NO MORE should we suffer for we would be going to a POOL PARTY at Joanne Grant's House and she was pretty fancy and in Couple's Card Club and they had a pool and a grill and lots of fruit and chips and lots of people there and I went and had this orange and turquoise bathing suit on and I remember looking at the hair on my legs and wondering when I would be old enough to shave because there were a few girls there who went to my school and THEY had smooth legs and long, thin bodies and here I was - with my Leather Tuskadaro SHAG haircut and my unshaven legs and my chunky size and then I got really shy all of a sudden though my brother seemed to have NO problem talking folks up and making them laugh and so I thought the best solution was for me to disappear into the crisp, blue clean chloride of the pool and lose myself to swimming and perhaps some underwater spying and so I took off my towel and went to the diving board to avoid my popular brother in the shallow end and then I climbed the ladder to the top and even though I don't know how to dive I thought I could just jump in quietly and begin my disappearing act and as I stood on the tip of the diving board and was about to jump I hear my brother YELL - "MA - MA!!!!! FAY'S GOT BOOBIES!!!!" and the whole party stops and even the grill stops sizzling and everyone is looking at me - FAY -now with BOOBIES - UP AND CENTER on the diving board and I didn't know what to do except pray for lightning to strike and take me away and instead of just DIVING in to disappear as my initial plans dictated, I STOOD THERE and FROZE and sweated and then the HORROR of it all took over and I began to SCREAM and SCREAM and try to climb down that ladder as fast as I could which was not fast because I am clumsy and awkward and now I had BOOBIES to contend with and so I grabbed my towel and ran to the car and my mom brought us home and even though that wasn't the first of the pool parties we were invited to it was certainly the last - and then summer went by and even though I STILL wasn't allowed to shave my legs- I HAD to shop for bras and my body was going one way though my mind was going another and even though I won FIRST PLACE and a blue ribbon for my woven gimp keychain shaped into the letter F - the fun was gone because I knew that I was no longer a FAY.....but now a FAITH.


FAY'S GOT BOOBIES - CHICKEN BREASTS

(dictated from my mom - Gloria!!!! Go MOM!)

Go buy a pack of regular chicken breasts - about 4-6 in a packet. DO NOT buy the boneless kind! Salt and Pepper them- and braise them a bit in butter to let out the flavor. Put them in a buttered pan UPSIDE DOWN and take about a cup of stuffing (your choice - already made) into each breast - cover with tin-foil and bake in the oven at 325 degrees for about an hour - (this depends on how big the breasts are - but if you look in a cookbook or go online it should tell you the time per pound)