Deep Fried PITY Pickle Portions

I am a horrible liar - this is why I don't speed.

I am one half of a "band" called Lady Hard-On. We auditioned for Last Comic Standing way back when it was icy and cold and hot chocolate would freeze in your hands. We made it to round two wearing our Siamese Twin Leiderhosen and trying to sing about tea-baggin' and sausage souvenirs. We lugged around corn dogs bought from Super America hours before hand. They filmed a special segment on us. For them we even ATE the corn dogs - now even 5 hours older. We are not great - this we know - we KNEW we weren't EVER EVER EVER going to be America's Last Comic Standing - we might be Minnesota's First Siamese-Twin Polka-ish Band SITTING - but we know what we are.....and what we are not.

And now we're liars.

Apologies to all who tuned in - I feel that in the world of apologies given - I am now somewhat - SADLY ENOUGH - becoming UNFORTUNATELY USED TO apologizing for making people stay up and watch the band or me on the television set. Ah- perhaps you will recall the Letterman Incident of 2007?

Never would have voted for me in the WILL SAY SORRY COUNTLESS TIMES FOR NOT BEING ON TV category in the yearbook.

Liar - liar - Pants on fire. Pockets of shame. Cuffs of humility. Belt of scorn. Ah - our next costume is shaping up to be quite a doozey!!!!!



DEEP FRIED PITY PICKLE PORTIONS
(contributed last night at the corn-dog jamboree in my backyard by Eric Hayes and DeAnn Strenke and conceived by Bethany Burton)

1 jar of genetically wrong GIANT PICKLES
1 cup pancake batter
1/2 cup corn meal
3/4 cup milk
1 egg
some salt
Fry-Daddy (this is a deep fryer - you may have the Fry-Pappy or the L'il Fryer Jr. - all will do and there are just fun to say)


Slice pickles into patty-like portions. Mix all other ingredients in a bowl. Dry off pickle portions. coat pickle portions with batter. Throw pickle portions into hot, sizzling vegetable oil of a FryDaddy - they will turn around and around enjoying their hot greased spa treatment. Take them out when golden brown and let them cool.

Enjoyed best with a liar or someone who feels guilt or shame!!!!

LIAR'S CLUB ADDENDUM
when asking about batter was told originally these ingredients: 1/8 tsp cream of tartar - 2 key limes - 1 cup EXOTIC Indian Saffron (DUH - should have known right there - that must cost only a thousand dollars) 3 TBSP blood red orange juice 1 tsp horseradish?????? and 1 pomello..... NOT ONLY AM I NOW A LIAR - I BELIEVE EVERYTHING I HEAR. (though honestly - the saffron threw me off - the person giving the ingredients is an adventurous cook - so I thought - maybe...just maybe he DID use these ingredients - STRANGE , but I'll trust him)

Hopefully you will never have to make these pathetic pity pickles - and instead delight in the WE WERE ON TV AND ARE TRUTH TELLERS salsa I originally planned to share!