Monster at the End of the Book Basic Pastry for Pies

Today I missed my grandma. I miss my grandma ALL days - but today her GRANDMA SMELL wafted through my mind as I tried to shake that MONSTER AT THE END OF THE BOOK monster far away from me. The Monster at the End of the Book was my favorite book as a little girl and starred the lovable, furry old Grover and Grandma Seering would read it with such fierce glee and terror I found myself between a world of intense suspense and loyal love.

I share a secret with my Grandma. Still - even though she's gone. Whe knows that I have a ritual when I go to her house. She knows that when I go to the bathroom, I slide shut the sliding door and open the closet to find this - the BAND AID BOX. It's an old gallon milk carton cut in half - still shiny with it's forty year old wax. My grandma hadn't changed this box for over 20 years - I love that she took the time to label the masking tape on it - and the loop-de-loop of her letters remain the same.

My fascination with the BAND AID BOX, perhaps - is strange considering all of the beautiful photos and antiques and stories hanging in her house - I am obsessed with this cut-up cardboard box. I cherish the old logo and the clunky printing. I take deep whiffs of the the Grandma smell which lives inside along with yellowed cotton balls, rolls of medical tape and a tin of old matches - and of course - there are the band-aids.

Grandma was MY band-aid - she could kiss away the scrapes and bake away the bruises. THere was nothing her handpicked blueberry pie couldn't fix. She was her own kind of medicine man - bringing sunshine to plants and cheering them on throughout the years. In her garden STILL blooms the 60 year old peony plant that sister Agnes gave her. She mothered a family of Easter Cacti - the oldest one over 38 years old - and I do my best to carry them on....Her plants raise their punky, healthy leaves to salute her.

Grandma could fix a heavy heart with her gift of words - an animated story-teller, she grabbed on to the details of a moment and would weave them together to fix a sad spirit. Every card she sent was personalized with a thought, observation, homemade prayer or poem. Doodled in the margins of her phone book - you can find her thoughts scrawled in her loopy, perfect penmanship.

My grandma could cure boredom as well - "let's play BINGO - let's play UNO - let's play JACKS - tell me a story and I will tell you one - Oh my stars, let's stop for fresh bread". We would wash dishes with the game of the biggest SQUEAK of a clean plate.

In college, Grandma healed my home-sickness with care packages of cheese, molasses cookies and Tabu perfume. My roommates would gawk as I untied the string from the brown papered package and revealed the cookies and cheese. You can send cheese through the mail???? OF COURSE you can - it's Wisconsin.

We all know that band-aids can sting it you rip them off too quickly and even though you know its coming, I closed my eyes and STILL -an unspeakable OUCH.

My grandma was more than a grandma - she was a mother, a wife, a friend, and aunt, a cousin, a daughter, a neighbor, a sister a volunteer, a gardener and a cook. She collected panda bears and loved to watch birds. She made the world beautiful with her love for flowers and bright and bold colors. She was sassy and spunky and generous and real. She could gut a fish and make home-made 7-UP. She had flawless skin and beautiful hair. She loved to laugh out loud and win at cards.

As I look at my clunky, homemade treasure chest of Grandma's mystic healings - I realize that the secret I thought I shared with her turned out to not be a secret at all.

SHE is my monster at the end of the book.


Monster at the End of the Book Basic Pastry for Pies

2 cups sifted flour
1 teaspoon salt
2/3 cups shortening
5-7 tablespoons COLD water.

Sift flour - salt together. cut in shortening with pastry blender till all mixture looks like cornmeal or small peas. Sprinkle 1 TBSP water over part of mixture - gently toss with fork. PUsh to side of bowl - repeat till all mixture is moistened - then from into a ball - for double crust - divide ball.