Don't Burn the Circus Animals Birthday Cake

Dawn Gundlach was the first person to get me grounded. Getting grounded is no fun when you are in seventh grade and trying to be liked even though you do unlikable things like pogo-stick on down to the bus stop and store said pogo stick in your locker or - in a desperate moment of wanting that element of LIKE - you join in with the cool kids at the back of the bus and cheer them on as they try to make Dawn Gundlach eat her shoe.

The shoe-eating incident was reported to Dawn's dad - Wally Gundlach who then on the next day at the bus stop came down and called me a whore while I was pogo-sticking away and avoiding eye contact with Dawn. Whore? What's that? I asked my mom that night and she asked where did I hear that word and I told her Wally and she called Wally up and he came over and told my mom and dad that on the bus ride home I tried to make Dawn EAT her show and that I smoked at the bus stop and that I probably made-out with Matthew Henry in the back of the bus like Linda Stack did. That wasn't the WORST of it because 3 years later we became friends and I went over to Dawn's for an after-school snack and she took this peanut butter and put it in a yellow tupperware bowl and then she took this grape jelly and dumped it on top and she mixed the two together until it was GREY and thick and then spread it on some Wonderbread and made ME eat it and next thing I know I am throwing up on their brand new bathroom carpet and Wally called Gloria and told them to pick up their impolite daughter (whore) but that didn't matter in the end because I was still invited to Dawn's birthday Party! Dawn had a twin brother David and so girls AND boys were there and the boys sat by the front porch music speakers and listened to the new Foreigner 4 album and the girls looked at this bundt cake that was supposed to be filled with pudding but was filled with frosting and there was this paper/candle carousel topping and when they lit the candles and sang Happy Birthday the Merry GO Round shot up in flames and there was fire and Laurie Pierce started to cry so we decided to then play some games and one game was a TRUTH game and if we were caught LYING we would have to drink SALT WATER and the worst was that for treats we didn't get chips or cookies but we got to help ourselves tot he SWEET PICKLE bowl which was no fun at all - so we went upstairs to Wally's bathroom and looked inside the medicine cabinet because it was rumored at the bus stop that there was a picture of a nude lady in there - so we looked and there was - there WAS a picture of a naked lady and when I went home - full of salt water, sweet pickles and burnt cake - I understood that indeed I wasn't the whore at all - Wally was.

Don't Burn the Circus Animals Birthday Cake

WHITE CAKE WITH PEANUT BUTTER (and no jelly) FROSTING

White Cake Supreme

3/4 cup shortening
1 1/3 cups sugar
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
2 1/2 cups flour - sifted
3 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 cup skim milk
5 egg whites
1/3 cup sugar

Stir shortening to soften. Add 1 1/3 cups sugar and cream together until light and fluffy. Add vanilla. Stir flour, baking powder and salt together - add to creamed mixture alternately with milk - beat until smooth. Beat egg whites til foamy - add 1/3 cup sugar gradually - beating until meringue holds into peaks - stir into batter. Bake in 2 greased 9x1 1/2 inch round pans at 375 degrees for 30 minutes.

PEANUT BUTTER FROSTING

1/2 cup softened butter
1 cup peanut butter
2 cups powdered sugar
1/4 cup heavy cream

Beat all ingredients until smooth and airy! Frost cake - DO NOT USE PAPER CAROUSEL as decoration!!!!!!! TRY candles with plastic doodads from Party/Cake Decorating Store!!!!